we have officially lost it.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Randomize
