How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
it's like iHOP with fire
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
