girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
