I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
