So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
