I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
stop calling my apartment porn island.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
