he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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