So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I want you more than these girls want KFC
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
