Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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