I feel great
I just peed on a car
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize