i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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