physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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