if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My life is pants optional.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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