Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
