Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I touched a dick in church today
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize