why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
