So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
