Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize