just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
love makes seman taste better
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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