Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
