I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
