dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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