I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize