wanna go halves on a baby?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
