I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
