She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
