i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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