shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need to sanitize my soul.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize