They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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