2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize