I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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