I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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