do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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