Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
