He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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