at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
