He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize