Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
