theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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