just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
