Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
