would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
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