High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
