Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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