I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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