my mouth tastes like poor choices
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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