Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
