"it" just moved
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize