it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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