I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
