i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize