I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Randomize
