Just fell off a train. Bad.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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