Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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