OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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