i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
