life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
