I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
it was like eating out sand paper
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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