I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
