it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
