just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
