ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
