i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize