I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I fill condoms, not promises.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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