i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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