Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
honey bunches of taint.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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