I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
