i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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