So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
