Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
