You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
