btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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