You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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