the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
50% drunk capacity currently
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
