i think my tv is drunk
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
