I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
