1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just cut my nipple shaving
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
