Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
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