You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
