At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
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