That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
its not stalking. its research.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
